We remain open and committed to providing services for our clients. For more information on our Coronavirus (COVID-19) procedures, Click Here

Living with an Alcoholic Spouse

Home » Blog » Living with an Alcoholic Spouse

Living With An Alcoholic Spouse

When you get married, you proudly take the vow of “for better or for worse”. You know that marriage is something that you need to work at in order for it to work for you. Every single marriage has better and worse moments, even though most hope to never have to experience the worst moments. Unfortunately, though, many married couples are forced to deal with the disease of alcoholism and the many impacts it has on their lives.

Living with an alcoholic spouse can be one of the most difficult things you have to endure in your life. There is no handbook on how to handle a situation such as this, and there is certainly no easy way out of it all.

Facing down addiction in your marriage is just as heartbreaking as it is overwhelming. Watching the one you love to grapple with their continued use despite the consequences it is having can create an insurmountable amount of stress in your life. And while every day may seem to present its own unique obstacles, know that you are not alone.

Alcoholism is something that occurs in 15 million people across the country, meaning that it affects millions more than that. That is because when your spouse is an alcoholic, their disease affects you and your loved ones.

Signs Your Spouse is an Alcoholic

No one ever wants to think that their spouse has a drinking problem. The very idea that they could be an alcoholic can seem so extreme and personal that you quickly excuse away their drinking behaviors. And while denial is normal and attempting to fix the problem on your own is even more normal, there are often several signs being exhibited by your spouse indicating that the issue they are dealing with requires more than what you can give. 

Every marriage is different, just as every person is different. So, your spouse may display signs and symptoms of alcoholism that are unique to their situation. But generally, those who struggle with the disease of alcoholism often show many of the same signs that their drinking is not just recreational, but more serious. 

Your spouse may be experiencing alcohol use disorder if he or she exhibits the following symptoms:

  • Drinking at odd hours of the day or night, such as early in the morning or long after bedtime
  • Continuing to drink despite consequences that they may have experienced as a result of that drinking
  • Having financial problems as a result of funding their alcohol use
  • Facing legal issues associated with a DUI, disorderly conduct charge, or other crime that occurred while under the influence
  • Neglecting responsibilities at home (pitching in to keep the house clean, taking care of kids, and making time for you) 
  • Developing issues at work where they may be reprimanded, put on notice, or even terminated because of the slip in their performance 
  • Isolating from friends and family who question their drinking habits
  • Becoming derogatory, violent, or emotionally unhinged while drinking
  • Feeling like they have to keep drinking or order to function 
  • Engaging in activities where drinking is acceptable (e.g. having friends over to watch a football game, going to a cookout)

These are only some of the signs that your spouse may be an alcoholic. Of course, this is extremely difficult to accept, however, there are things that you can do to not only help your spouse get into recovery but also help yourself cope with what is going on within your home.

How to Cope with an Alcoholic Spouse 

When you have an alcoholic spouse, seemingly all of the attention is placed on them and their needs. That is because alcoholics tend to drain the energy of those around them. They make them worry about their whereabouts, increasing conflicts at home, creating financial distress, and so on. Plus, when you care for someone deeply, watching them go through this can serve as your greatest source of pain.

Fortunately, there are things that you can do to help yourself cope with the impacts of your spouse’s alcoholism. Consider the following:

  • Seek support — Within your very own community are support groups that can help you vocalize and process what you are going through. Al-Anon, the sister group to Alcoholics Anonymous, is the leading support group for the loved ones of alcoholics. Al-Anon focuses not on how you can fix your spouse, but how you can cope with this disease. There, you will be able to share your experiences and thoughts while listening to those of others. The cycle of sharing, listening helps you develop skills needed to manage your reality to the best of your ability.
  • Ask for professional help — It might sound completely backwards to even consider asking for professional help for yourself, but in many cases, it is necessary. Speaking with a therapist can give you the personalized attention you need to manage the thoughts and feelings you are having. 
  • Set boundaries — Setting boundaries is something you can do without the help of anyone else. You get to decide where your comfort zone lies and you may protect that. You may consider setting boundaries such as not allowing your spouse to come home drunk or taking control over your joint bank accounts to manage the family’s money. Setting boundaries within your household can help keep from enabling your spouse and encourage them to get help.

Above all else, know that you are not alone. By reaching out and asking for help, you can get the support and boost you need to make it through the challenges that alcoholism presents.

Do You Need Help? Call Us Right Now.

If you have a spouse who is struggling with alcoholism, do not hesitate to ask for help. You do not have to take this challenge on by yourself, nor would anyone ask you to. We understand the deep impact that your spouse’s alcoholism has on you and we are here to help. 

Do not wait any longer. Call us right now to get the help that you deserve.


  • Excellent treatment center. Hathaway put on the road to recovery, I been sober 2 years today! Thank you Dena and staff members!

    Mike M.
  • Hathaway has saved my family. Before we found Hathaway my daughter was suffering with addiction however once we came to this facility the staff took her in and she felt comfortable and by a couple months she was ready to come back home fully recovered. Thank you Hathaway Recovery for saving her and thank you for the wonderful staff.

    Gabby H.
  • First I’ll start by saying that, this facility is absolutely beautiful! A couple years ago my husband Tony attended Hathaway Recovery in Claremont Ca. While Tony was in residential he received every care needed for a successful recovery. Also, he was able to enjoy the home gym at the beautiful Hathaway home, it’s basketball court, pool and etc. which made his stay even more pleasant. I am forever grateful for the man Tony has become ever since his completion. He has two years clean under his belt and many more to come because of the amazing facility. Thanks again Hathaway Recovery and Staff, Keep Continuing Changing Lives, God Bless Diane and Tony

    Diane K.
  • I came to Hathaway Recovery on court orders stemming from charges due to not taking medications for my mental health. I was fearful of what my future held and what that would look like. I have never been to a dual diagnosis treatment program before, and I didn’t know what to expect. I really didn’t think I had a substance abuse problem but after about 3-4 weeks of group therapy and the counselors here at this facility, I finally realized substance abuse influenced me to not be able to take care of my mental health. With the help of Hathaway Recovery’s team, I was able to build a strong foundation for my recovery that is vital to me and my family. The clinical staff, therapist, case managers, and counselors included, were honest, caring, and really helped me gain the knowledge I needed to build this recovery program and lifestyle. I am forever grateful for the treatment at Hathaway Recovery.

    Transition A.
  • My brother has been addicted for years. All our family gave up on him. Recently, he completed an inpatient residential program at Hathaway Recovery. This place is blessed and so helpful. It’s very luxurious, you feel like you are on vacation at a beautiful resort. Hathaway Recovery staff is very helpful, understanding and supportive. They all helped him to recover and to become a human again and enjoy his life. This place also supports family members and teaches them how to deal with aftercare to prevent relapse. Hathaway Recovery is the place for those who are struggling with addiction. Thank you for everything!

    Beauty D.
  • As a Trauma Informed Therapist I was contracted by Dina , the Owner to provide additional Trauma Informed Counseling. She indicated that she was seeking additional clinical services because her client population were enthusiastic about their recovery and she wanted to provide quality care. Working with Hathaway has been magical. This program does not separate addiction and mental health trauma into separate treatments, This program blends together the understanding that addicts have childhood trauma and have habitually used drugs or alcohol to dull their inner pain., Hathaway Recovery provides highly individual services for each client, including bilingual counseling. This is a program that I am proud to be a part of. Susan Pennington, LCSW – Trauma Informed Counseling Services.

    Susan P.
  • Hathaway Recovery Center is the real deal. They helped me find myself when I was completely lost. After I lost the mother of my child due to a tragic accident. The therapists and counselors truly cared. We made a relationship with each other that was unbreakable. The other clients were awesome roommates and true to me. The house managers were great and the living situations were awesome. If I ever even think about slipping up I’ll be returning. Today I have over one year clean.

    Jimmie R.
  • After searching many rehabs and after spending so much money to useless facilities we finally found Hathaway . From the bottom of my heart I would like to thank all the staff and all the residents that made my sons recovery easier from beginning to end.

    Gayane A.
  • Hathaway truly saved my life. I am so grateful to have had an opportunity to go there. I came in at absolute rock bottom, 9 rehabs later and countless sober livings. I can tell you that this treatment center is different then every other one I’ve ever been to.

    Justin J.
  • After running into some trouble with the law, a substance abuse counselor suggested that I check myself into Hathaway Recovery. Hathaway Recovery helped me get my life back together one step at a time. Through discipline, routine, and structure, I can honestly say that this treatment center has helped me tremendously! The staff are very helpful and caring to each person’s needs, and helped me to realize the beauty of living a sober life.

    Josh M.
  • Hathaway Recovery stuff saw potential In me when I couldn’t. They showed me a new way of life, a better life. Coming to Hathaway recovery is the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m beyond grateful for everything the program has done for me!

    Gilberto F.
  • Finally, Hathaway is a Treatment Center that offers a holistic approach to addiction. This center offers a safe place, community and a network to grow with throughout your recovery process. They make you feel that you are NOT alone. The leadership has been in your shoes!!! Hathaway Recovery is more than just a temporary fix, it is a foundation, a movement, a family to be a part of.

    Anthony P.
  • One of the best places I have been too! They really know how to treat you and very professional!

    Ashley A.
  • Hathaway Recovery and their staff have been nothing but supportive and understanding throughout our family member’s journey. I truly appreciate all the staff and their hard work. The communication has been great and has provided us a really positive experience. I would highly recommend this facility to anyone looking for a rehabilitation center for themselves or a loved one. Thank you Hathaway Recovery!

    Lilit H.
  • Hathaway Recovery is a very solid, very friendly place. My boyfriend decided to go here and has spent a significant amount of time at the recovery house. They are very good at bringing clients to meetings and on fun outings occasionally! Hathaway is committed to their clients’ recovery and their sobriety and to helping them in any way possible. They go above and beyond for the clients and I definitely would recommend considering Hathaway for your sobriety/recovery.

  • Hathaway is a warm caring treatment oriented environment to receive help from various addictions and behavioral problematic issues. The location itself is serene and safe.. I enjoyed the both staff/professional’s and patient’s… It has many services available, a very unique place… I recommend anyone to come and receive long-term treatment here at Hathaway…

  • Hathaway Recovery is a very solid, very friendly place. My boyfriend decided to go here and has spent a significant amount of time at the recovery house. They are very good at bringing clients to meetings and on fun outings occasionally! Hathaway is committed to their clients’ recovery and their sobriety and to helping them in any way possible. They go above and beyond for the clients and I definitely would recommend considering Hathaway for your sobriety/recovery.

  • “There was no longer any doubt in my mind that I was in the right place for my drug abuse treatment, “Of all the rehabs I could have chosen, I am glad I picked The Hathaway Recovery Support hope respect and care is what i was offered thanks for everything Hathaway recovery you are the best

  • Hathaway Recovery is an awesome place the whole staff has been so helpful they are very professional and very nice Hathaway recovery is a great place to get your addiction treated my brother is doing very well there and we are so glad they were very understanding and willing to help him.

  • A very welcoming environment and kind hearted staff that really took care of my relative and cleaned him up. Thanks Hathaway recovery.

  • When your loved one is sick and needs help you look for the best and I found the best for my son thank you for everything you did for him.


    Hathaway Recovery is an exclusive addiction rehab treatment center in California offering healing recovery from all substances. We’re proud to provide a great combination for drug, alcohol, psychiatric and psychological recovery treatment backed by experts in the addiction treatment field. Our drug and alcohol rehab is built on the cornerstone of care and compassion and accommodates clients and their families from all backgrounds to educate, inform, and create change around substance use disorder. In a secluded mountain hill luxury resort, our facility offers a therapeutic environment and array of clinical modalities to help individuals and their families. Our staff are also multilingual to address the needs of clients from anywhere in the world.

    *100% Private & Fully Confidential form
    I authorize and consent to give permission to Hathaway Recovery to verify my personal data and Health Care Insurance benefits.
    I understand that I have the option to choose various methods of communication( text, email, chat, etc). and I can revoke this permission in writing at any time. I consent to the conditions and instructions outlined in this fully confidential form & privacy policy.


      Confidential Contact Form
      Call Hathaway 24/7 or fill out the 100% fully confidential contact form below to start your recovery
      Don’t Delay. Start Your Journey Now

      Copyright © 2022 Hathaway Recovery Center · Privacy Policy · Employment Opportunities

      Sitemap HTML | Sitemap XML


      24/7 Help Is Standing By, Call Us Now